Marriage & Rescue

Our Wedding Day

I love my husband.  He is my person.  My kids adore him.  He is a wonderful father to our fur kids, and he will be a wonderful father to our future two-legged children.  I see him playing with my nephews or his younger cousins, and it makes my heart happy.  He is a good man.  My good man.  I am so very lucky to have him at my side. 

At the Luke Bryan/Jason Aldean Concert

Ben and I have been married for just over two years now.  I am certainly not an expert at marriage, and never will be.  I have, however, learned a few things along the way.  I have learned that having an argument like rational people can really be a challenge for two people as stubborn as we are.  I have learned that headphones for the TV in the bedroom are a necessity.  I have learned that memory foam bath mats dry a million times faster than regular bath mats, which saves my socks from getting wet.  Ben has learned that I will check at least two times that the oven is off before I leave the house even if I didn't use it.  He has learned to warn me to cover my eyes during scenes in movies where an animal is hurt, and he has learned to never even attempt to rent a movie where a dog dies.  I have learned that Ben and I will not always see things the same way.  And sadly, I have learned that I am not always right.  But at least Ben isn't either!  We are most certainly not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. 

Ben & Cooper

 
Marriage, while it is a wondrous thing, can most definitely have its challenges.  The current challenge in our household just happens to deal with the thing I am most passionate about: dogs.  Rescue isn't just a thing.  It is a lifestyle.  You live it every day.  You never stop because there are always people to educate and there are always dogs to save.   So how does rescue affect my marriage?  Time.

I currently work a full time retail manager's schedule, which includes some nights and weekends.  Ben works Monday through Friday during the day.  As you can imagine, we don't always have the same time off at home together.  We are lucky to get one day off together a week, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.  How else do I spend my time?  I blog, I take my kids to training at least once a week, and I volunteer.  As a volunteer, I am the webmaster and the event/fundraising coordinator as well as a foster mom.  I also help in other ways when I can.  I like to assist with home visits and travel to pick up dogs at rural shelters around North Carolina.  There is also the regular grown up stuff that I have to do like cook and clean.  And I of course have to sleep.  Time is definitely my current issue.

Ben & June

I have already made a few compromises that should help solve our problem.  I am no longer going on road trips or home visits.  (At least for a little while.)  My biggest compromise, however, is my job.  I have decided to go down to part time at work.  While I did it for several reasons, the most important reason was Ben.  Now I can be home on the weekends with him and have quality family time.  We are also taking a short hiatus from fostering so we can focus on our own kids and just have a breather.  While I adore fostering, I understand that a break is best for all of us, especially my kids.

Ben did not ask me to give up rescue by any means.  He just wants me to see how it affects us as a family.  I will delegate my time better and be home more.  That is not a problem.  I see where he is coming from, but I do not completely agree.  I do not see why it is a problem for me to work on the computer while Ben is playing a video game, for instance.  Am I blinded by passion?  Am I missing something?  I just don't know.

What I do know is that I love rescue.  And even though we disagree sometimes, Ben completely supports my passion and my crazy dog lady ways.  I don't know many husbands that would be okay with their wife taking in a stray when there are already four dogs in the house.  Ben is wonderful.  I know he will always support me and my passion.  Rescue will always be a part of our lives.  How many couples can say that eight hearts are still beating because of them?  I know that we can!  And I am most certainly proud of it.

***

How do you make rescue work in your relationship?  What types of compromises do you have to make?